Even My Grapes have Stretch Marks

U.S.S. Shipwreck

1200-1600

I have been trying to get into shape. It is more of an experiment than vanity. It requires that I diet and exercise throughout the week. Yes, that is my program. Diet and exercise; no fancy pills or fat freezes.

Eating healthy, as you may know, can be super expensive. Ideally, one would go to farmer's market and the co-op to obtain their healthy snacks. I cannot afford such things though. I buy my goods at the plain old, commercially farmed food stores. Yes, I assume that I am implanting seeds of cancer each time I consume a piece of produce from these places. I try not to think about the embedded chemicals and, instead, focus on the delicious vitamins and nutrients underneath the death toxins.

The other day at work, I noticed a grape that was forced, presumably, by said chemicals, to grow at such a rate, that its internal girth seemed to out-mass its own skin capacity. So, like a human being whose skin could no longer keep up with the quantity of lard-o-licious treats put inside of it, forcing the skin to stretch and break, my grape has also suffered this tragic side effect:


Now, you may be dying to know: Did I eat this grotesque grape? Indeed, I did. The starvation feeling brought on by a strict diet can make one eat just about anything.