Today's Car Conversation on the Way Back from the Grocery

U.S.S. Shipwreck

1600-2000

Me: Oh, Look! Someone won the lottery!

Nat: Darn it?!

Me: What if it was us?

Nat: Then I will take back my darn; otherwise, I'm putting it back up.

Me: Okay.

Nat: Look. There sure are a lot of people at Walmart. 

Me: Poor bastards.

Nat: Well, let's pretend you are an adult.

Me: Okay, hypothetically, let's say I am an adult...

Nat: Well what if you needed something? And you could only get it at Walmart. Then what?

Me: Then they would have it somewhere else or else I wouldn't need it.

Nat: Well what if you really did?

Me: Like what? Like, if I needed a snow shovel and they were the only place in town that had them?

Nat: Yes, like that.

Me: Then I would borrow a snow shovel from someone: a neighbor, a friend, someone.

Nat: What if they didn't have one?

Me: Then I would drive to my parents' house and haul their snow shovel home and haul it back to them.

Nat: What if they didn't have one?

Me: Of course they have one.

Nat: Well, what if they didn't? 

Me. Natalie, if nobody in town had a snow shovel, and the only ones available were at Walmart, then everyone would have snow on their walkways and I wouldn't care. 

Nat: Oh.

Glad You Stopped By - Here's a Rant and a Whine.

U.S.S. Shipwreck

0000-0400

Today I was reminded of why I am glad I do not have a television. I spent the evening at my sister's house, helping her with her new hobby, puzzles (shh you), drinking cocktails, laughing, catching up, having a great time, all while her television was fiercely competing in the background, parading around its crappy American Idols, its horrible fake actors, and its mega rich superstars reminding the commoners that they are in fact superior because so many people allow them to be. I think I need a shower to wash away whatever filth may still be lingering from that piece of trash.

Tonight I spent my weight loss competition dues on pizza. I bummed out cigarettes to my newly quit sister and gave her the same lousy b.s. excuses I have been giving everyone else as to why I started again after three years. I am sucking. I need someone to come over and yank my behind out of bed in the morning and make me go for a run and stop wrecking my health. I feel panicked like I know myself less than ever before. I'm leaving my job in two months, I'm about to finish school and either fight it out in a crappy job market or go right back into school and hide out until someone needs an awesome English teacher. Heh. I have never been without solid goals in my life. Ever. It's freaking me out. I don't know what I want in life anymore but I don't think smoking cigarettes and drinking all the time is really it. I want to do too much and absolutely nothing all at the same time. Perhaps I'll write a sob story letter to one of those bullshit famous people and ask them to send my sorry ass some money to support my new life in some European country. 

Oh, Walgreens

U.S.S. Shipwreck

0000-0400

Those of you that know me well, know that I LOVE Walgreens ;). I am so curious about the workings of their coupon generator's rationalization or lack thereof on which coupons to dish out to which customers. (You know, the coupons you get with your receipt). What about a pack of Orbit Bubblemint and a Cherry Coke says, $1.00 off any size Playtex tampons? What about a pack of Orbit Bubblemint and a box of Tampax Pearls says, "I'm in the market for some super-masculine Axe face wash?"  

My School Rules! Your School Drools!

U.S.S. Shipwreck

2000-2400

My sea-monster bathroom is almost finished. The inversion has cleared and so gone are mornings of running while listening to the Dropkick Murphys, pretending it's a gloomy day in Dublin rather than a toxic day in Boise. I just finished a week of school and I think this semester is going to be a good one. I am doing my internship at Capital High and it is really fun so far. I am visiting about two or three different classrooms per day. In about two weeks I get to choose which one I want to finish out the semester in.

Yesterday, was a game day. Basketball. Capital vs. Borah. I went to Borah. I was in a classroom yesterday with a teacher who is also a passionate football coach. I explained that I graduated from Borah and so it was kind of weird to be in a place filled with black t-shirts adorned with bold letters reading, "BEAT BORAH." He said I could not return to his classroom ever again. I told him about my first day in boot camp when some senior chief guy pulled me aside soon after I arrived and confirmed that I was from Boise. He asked me what high school I went to. When I told him, he said, "I went to Boise. I hate Borah." I find it odd that I should be under attack so often due to my alma mater. In high school, I never went to pep rallies. I went to one football game but only as a photographer requested by one of the coaches. It was miserable. I don't know how I am supposed to respond to these people. I could care less about which team wins or loses. I don't think it is healthy to create such competative strife. Kids take it too seriously. The hatered stays with them through adulthood. That kind of thinking lends itself to intolerance to anyone outside of people just like you. I'll bet George W. still roots for his high school or at least advantageously understands that many people still hold beliefs that their high school teams are somehow more superior than their rivals.

Because the Boy with the Cold Hard Cash is Always Mister Right

U.S.S. Shipwreck

0000-0400

I'm trying to build up my running skills so that I don't up dead on the side of a hot Nevada road this August. No worries; I'm on a plan. It's called the "from couch potato to awesome athlete plan" or something. At this stage, I am to run three days a week. Today was a running day. Because of the nasty air outside due to the inversion, I did not want to go outside and run. I turned, instead, to my trusty old treadmill. My treadmill is piece of trash manual thing that makes running so much more difficult as I have to actually move the belt along with my own strength; running gracefully or hands free is not an option.
The interesting thing is that my little corgie, Roxie, will under no circumstance, come upstairs - ever. She used to use my room as a place to relieve herself and due to repeated punishment coupled with her own massive guilt, she is scared to venture to the upward part of the house. Today was different. As I was making my sad attempt at a workout, Madonna's "Material Girl" blasting out my headphones, I happened to glance over to my left to see the Roxie, looking up at me with an expression of concern in her eyes. I have heard of animals being able to sense when their owners are injured or ill. I think she thought I was going to die up there, pumping away on my little manual treadmill. When I showered afterward, she layed outside the bathroom door, probably anticipating her owner's heart failure, wondering how she would get her next meal.

Some Interworkings of My Much-Conflicted Mind

U.S.S. Shipwreck

1200-1600

Here it is folks, two days before my birthday. Why is this significant? Because I have managed to write again before another holiday! Here is a completely un-holiday-type entry...

When I got out of the Navy in 2004, I wanted nothing more than to relieve four years of painful misery through the art destroying as many brain cells as I could-brain cells that held the unpleasant memories of military life. I did this in ways that I would never have the guts to whilst under such tight control of Uncle Sam. During a visit to a small Ohio town, soon after my arrival to the states, on a night of being out of my mind, at a party, at a house of a friend of a friend, I met an Army Ranger who was on leave. He was also trying to unwind and kill some memories. He was telling me about being in Iraq. He had a lot of gruesome stories, full of death and close calls. He told me about some house that he and his battle group raided. They killed all of the men in the house. After one of his recollections, he pulled out a gold colored, Zippo-type lighter that he had taken off of one of the men that he had killed during that raid. He handed it to me. It had a picture of the Twin Towers on it. It read 2001 along the top edge. I found out that when you open it, the towers glow with a red flashing light where the planes would have hit. After I lit it and peered at the mysterious green-glowing flame, the guy slammed it shut and looked up at me. He said "That's disrespectful!" with such a tone of disapproval that for an instant, I felt the guilt of having done the terrorist attack myself. To this day, I think he overreacted.

So to add insult to injury or injury to my apparent gigantic insult as I dare to compare a major catastrophic event to the minor worries of my own personal life, I have this coffee mug... I have this coffee mug with an old best friend on it. One side of the mug contains this girl's head full of greasy bangs and what looks like rotting, blackened teeth. The other side contains the words"Friends are Forever." Each time I use this coffee mug, it reminds me of that night when I lit up that Army Ranger's stolen lighter. She is not my friend. In fact, she recently showed up to a wedding that my mother was also attending. At this wedding, my mom was so excited to see her after so many years (about 10) and while asking about her, found that she works at the Albertson's at the end of my street. My mom was so excited to tell her "That's DJ's Albertson's! She lives over there." The beast of an old best friend of mine replied, "Yeah, I figured, I see her come in all of the time with some bratty kid, I didn't know it was hers though." Knowing that she is still the same vicious rat that she was ten years ago, makes me feel like I am betraying myself each time I drink from the old coffee mug.

My Year Has Arrived

U.S.S. Shipwreck

2000-0000

Maybe I should change my blog's name to Holiday Blogger because that seems to be all I write about lately. Or, maybe it's just that time of year when the holidays are all crammed up next to each other to the point that I have forgotten what it is like to work for a whole week at a time. Whatever the case, let's talk about the New Year!

Okay, so since the beginning of 2008, right after Nathan royally screwed me on my taxes, I have been saying that 2009 is going to be my year. I still believe that. Here are a few things I am looking forward to this year:

1. Not sending all of my money to the government to pay for my huge tax bills.
2. I have made my last car payment.

3. I am going to run a marathon (okay half marathon) in August.

4. Natalie is going to start Kindergarten in the fall.

5. It will be my last year of having a night job.

6. I will be graduating in December.

.

As far as resolutions go, I want to: lose 15-20 pounds and improve my credit. I have tried to explain the concept of turning over a new leaf to Natalie and she is reluctant to make any changes in her life. She asked me what she could work on. I suggested maybe keeping her room cleaner or not being so violent. I think we are going to work on cleaning up her potty mouth though.